As pastors and church leaders, our call to serve others in love and compassion is central to our ministry. We strive to follow Christ’s example by helping those in need, extending mercy, and building a generous community. However, as we work to fulfill this mission, we must also guard against a well-intentioned but potentially harmful form of giving often referred to as “toxic charity.”
What is Toxic Charity?
Toxic charity refers to assistance that, rather than helping, inadvertently creates dependency, robs recipients of dignity, and fails to foster long-term positive change. It is aid given in a way that disempowers rather than empowers. This kind of charity often focuses on immediate relief without addressing root causes or equipping individuals for sustainable growth. For example, constantly providing material help without fostering skills, work opportunities, or self-sufficiency can create a cycle of dependency that makes people reliant on outside aid.
Toxic charity can manifest in various forms:
- Repetitive Handouts: Providing consistent, unearned aid can erode a sense of responsibility or initiative. Over time, this can undermine the recipient’s confidence and personal agency.
- Lack of Accountability: Giving without clear expectations or accountability can foster irresponsibility, encourage entitlement, and prevent spiritual and personal growth.
- Misguided Compassion: When giving is solely about making the giver feel good, it may overlook what is truly beneficial for the recipient.
As the Bible says in Proverbs 19:17, “He who has pity on the poor lends to the Lord, and He will pay back what he has given.” Our acts of charity are meant to honour God by helping people in meaningful, life-changing ways, not to foster dependency or diminish the potential God has placed within them.
Why is Toxic Charity Dangerous?
While charity is a profound expression of Christ’s love, when mishandled, it can lead to several issues within the church and the community:
- Dependency on the Church: When recipients come to expect continual help, they may look to the church as a primary source of sustenance rather than seeing it as a partner in their journey toward self-sufficiency and spiritual growth.
- Enabling: By repeatedly helping without setting expectations, we risk enabling destructive behaviours, making it easier for people to avoid confronting personal challenges.
- Draining Resources: Churches with limited resources can be stretched thin by unsustainable charity. If we aren’t wise in our approach, it can leave us unable to serve those who are genuinely in need or looking to improve their lives.
- Loss of Dignity: Recipients may feel as though they are valued only for their need rather than their potential, eroding their sense of self-worth.
Safeguarding the Church from Toxic Charity
As pastors, we are stewards of the church’s resources and mission. Our goal should be to empower those we help, leading them to spiritual and personal transformation. Here are some ways to guard against toxic charity while embracing a model of empowering generosity:
1. Assess the Need with Discernment
Jesus taught us to be “wise as serpents and harmless as doves” (Matthew 10:16). Before helping, it is essential to assess the true need and consider whether the assistance will help in the long term. Asking questions like, “How can we support you in overcoming this?” can open doors for conversations about growth rather than mere relief.
2. Encourage Personal Responsibility
Setting boundaries and expectations helps prevent dependency. For example, rather than offering endless financial support, consider helping individuals set goals, connect to job training, or provide financial planning guidance. Encourage people to take ownership of their journey while being available for support and guidance.
3. Equip and Empower
Paul advised the Thessalonians, “If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat” (2 Thessalonians 3:10), emphasizing the importance of personal responsibility. Empowering charity involves providing people with tools, skills, and opportunities for growth. Teaching financial literacy, offering job training programs, or connecting individuals with mentors fosters self-sufficiency and dignity.
4. Set Clear Expectations and Accountability
Being generous doesn’t mean being unwise. Ensure that recipients know there are expectations. For instance, if someone receives aid, they might be asked to attend a budgeting class or join a discipleship group. Accountability brings growth and ensures that assistance leads to progress rather than stagnation.
5. Partner with Others for Sustainable Solutions
Consider collaborating with organizations that address the root causes of poverty, addiction, or homelessness. By partnering with experts, you create a more holistic approach to helping individuals move forward. Churches should not bear the entire burden alone but can work within a network to achieve sustainable, empowering outcomes.
6. Teach the Value of Giving Back
Empowering charity invites people to be a blessing to others. Encourage those who have received help to give back, whether through time, volunteering, or sharing their story of transformation. By fostering a culture of reciprocity, you allow recipients to feel like contributors to the church family and God’s Kingdom.
Creating a Culture of Empowering Generosity
In our efforts to serve others, we should strive to embody the ministry of Jesus, who healed, uplifted, and empowered. Our charity should reflect God’s desire for wholeness and restoration. Rather than merely providing temporary relief, we seek to help individuals become agents of their transformation, restoring their sense of dignity and purpose.
True generosity is both wise and loving. It sees beyond immediate needs to a person’s God-given potential, aiming to empower them to thrive and find their identity in Christ. Let us strive to build a culture of empowering generosity in our churches—one that lifts people up invites them to grow, and, ultimately, transforms lives in a way that honours God and furthers His Kingdom.
What about those who cannot take care of themselves?
When it comes to helping older individuals who cannot help themselves—especially those who may have made poor choices in the past or were not particularly faithful in their walk—it presents a unique challenge. As pastors and as a church, we are called to extend grace and compassion while also stewarding our resources wisely. Here's a balanced approach to navigating this sensitive situation:
1. Recognize Our Responsibility to Care for the Vulnerable
The Bible emphasizes caring for the vulnerable, including the elderly.
In 1 Timothy 5:3-4, Paul instructs the church to "Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God."
This passage emphasizes the importance of caring for widows, starting with their own family, but also underscores the church's responsibility.
James 1:27 further illustrates this point: "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."
This verse highlights the care for those in distress as a fundamental expression of true faith.
Similarly, Psalm 68:5 describes God as "Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation." This portrays God's heart for the vulnerable, urging us to reflect His character in our actions.
While someone’s faithfulness (or lack thereof) is relevant to consider, it does not exempt us from showing compassion to those in genuine need.
2. Extend Grace Beyond Their Past Choices
Christ’s love calls us to serve with compassion, even to those who may not have been faithful or made wise choices. Jesus extended grace to many who had histories of poor choices, such as the woman at the well (John 4) and the woman caught in adultery (John 8). Our role is not to judge them by their past but to meet them with mercy and wisdom in their present need.
3. Assess Genuine Need and Available Resources
When considering aid, assess the individual’s genuine needs and the church’s available resources. This assessment could involve understanding their current financial situation, any family support they might have, and potential external resources (e.g., community assistance programs, government aid for the elderly). In situations where resources are limited, we may need to prioritize cases of immediate and severe need over others.
4. Encourage Family Involvement
If the older person has family members, reach out to them. Ideally, family is the primary source of support, and they may not be fully aware of the person’s needs. If the family is willing and able to help, encourage this approach as it aligns with God’s design for family responsibility.
5. Provide Assistance with Boundaries
If the church decides to assist, establish clear boundaries around the help provided. For instance:
Instead of direct financial aid, the church might cover specific needs, such as groceries, utilities, or necessary medication.
Set a timeframe or a plan for the assistance, and if possible, find ways to involve them in the church community through volunteer opportunities or involvement in other ways that promote dignity.
These boundaries help prevent dependency while sustainably meeting their immediate needs.
6. Encourage a Heart of Repentance and Faithfulness
If they were previously unfaithful, compassionately encourage them to renew their relationship with God. While the past can’t be changed, we can encourage them to make the most of their remaining years by drawing closer to Christ. Sometimes, experiencing love and support in a time of need opens people’s hearts to repentance and faith.
7. Create a Long-Term Care Plan with Church Resources in Mind
If this is an ongoing need, explore long-term solutions, such as connecting them with programs or organizations equipped to provide ongoing elder care. Additionally, consider involving church members who may feel called to minister specifically to the elderly or infirm, providing companionship, transportation, or other forms of non-financial support.
8. Communicate with the Congregation about Care for the Elderly
Helping the elderly in the church can become a communal effort. By sharing the need with the congregation, individuals who feel led may step forward to help financially or provide support in non-monetary ways. This not only spreads the responsibility but also creates a culture of honoring the elderly within the church.
9. Balance Grace with Stewardship
Ultimately, balancing grace with stewardship is key. We must ensure that we do not deplete the church’s resources in a way that hinders its ability to help others in genuine need. Providing measured support in a way that maintains dignity and shows Christ’s love, while also encouraging family responsibility, allows us to be both compassionate and wise.
Caring for elderly members who cannot help themselves, regardless of their past, reflects the heart of Christ and the compassion we are called to show. While we cannot ignore poor choices, our role is to offer grace in ways that encourage repentance, renewal, and dignity, without becoming enabling. Through a balanced approach, we can help those in need while safeguarding the church’s resources, fulfilling the church's mission to serve "the least of these" as Christ commanded.
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